10 Things I Have Learned (or confirmed) During My First Pregnancy
1. I LOOOOOVE being pregnant. No, this pregnancy has not been “perfect.” I’m not even sure what that means when people assume that’s what I’m saying when I say I love being pregnant. As I type this I feel a nap coming on, my feet and hands are swollen, my fingers are numb from carpal tunnel and my back is crying out for a workout, but I’ve literally gotten to participate in a miracle every day for the last 260 days or so. I feel so connected to God’s creation and I am honored to have been selected for the privilege of carrying life.
2. I really can do hard things. The sum total of my pregnancy will be a little under 9 months…that’s a long time. And don’t mistake the fact that I absolutely love being pregnant to mean that it’s not challenging. At every stage, there’s a new challenge. You and your body are learning how to exist in a new way every month (sometimes it feels like every day). It doesn’t matter if it’s your first pregnancy or your 10th, every day pregnant is its own unique experience. And you have no control over a good bit of it. That’s hard.
3. Pregnancy is a superpower, not a health condition. Do I see doctors? Yes. Am I having surgery (a c-section) to deliver my baby? Sure am. But am I ill? No. Do I need to be treated like a delicate vase? Only if you want me to want to punch you. Carrying a baby is one of the strongest most powerful things a woman’s body can do. Don’t try to weaken us by making us sit down all the time. (And I’m not talking about the cases where there are genuine concerns and health conditions that develop during pregnancy. Treat those like medical conditions; not the pregnancy itself.)
4. Working in the traditional workforce, no matter how easy/brainless the work or how good I am at it, gives me anxiety. In an industrialized society in 2020, it’s been hard for me to say this publically, but I don’t like having a job. I don’t like doing things that are treated like emergencies that aren’t. I don’t like somebody putting a dollar amount on what they think my time is worth. I don’t like feeling like I have to chose between a good wife, mom, friend, sister – a good Crystal – and being a good employee. Now, I’m all for women who PREFER to be in the traditional workforce. And I have, and will again if I need to, go to work if that’s what my family needs. I just don’t think it should be expected or frowned upon when a woman would prefer to solely be a homemaker, with or without a home-based business (which can be a great alternative for many families).
5. I have the power to choose my yes or my no. My days, my time, my energy = my decision. I have learned that the world doesn’t stop spinning when I say no to something. Nor is it anybody’s business (aside from my husband) what I chose to participate in. At every decision point in your life, there will be people that think you should go one way or the other. But it’s YOUR life and you’re the only one that’s going to have to live with that decision so make sure it’s yours, not theirs.
6. I place too much pressure and too many expectations on myself. I don’t know that I will ever understand why I think that I’m a superwoman or that the laws of time don’t apply to me. Or perhaps I’ve just never learned how time works. Either way, I have a horrible tendency to overcommit. One thing I will say about pregnancy is that it does slow you down a bit. It also forces you to determine what will give you the most bang for your energy-expenditure buck and evaluate your priorities. I have had to come to terms with and embrace my limitations, which has actually allowed me to finally set realistic expectations for myself. I am beyond grateful for this.
7. I absolutely LOVE Coaching and mentoring women. This is definitely on the list of things I confirmed during this season of my life. I honestly feel like this is one of the things God put me on this planet to do. Not that I have arrived at some form of perfection (I’m admittedly imperfect) nor have I ever claimed to have it all together…whatever “it” is. But I’m definitely not at day one in many areas of my life and I believe in the power of helping each other navigate roads we’ve already traveled. Mentoring women in fitness, nutrition, relationships and faith are life-giving to me and I’m grateful that I’ve been able to contiue that on this new journey to motherhood.
8. It is possible to enjoy eating healthy and exercising while pregnant. Definitely not 100% of the time but, as with the rest of my life, a good 80% goes a long way. For as long as I’ve thought about one day being pregnant, I’ve worries about common pregnancy fears: I’ll have an aversion to a lot of foods and have only a few things I can eat, everything will hurt and I won’t be able to move around, I’ll gain a ton of weight, etc. And I can see how these things could easily become true so I decided to get ahead of it and choose to stick to my normal meal plan and continue to exercise. The rewards have been that I can still eat a variety of healthy foods and have not really craved “junk,” which in turn means my baby has experienced these same foods in my womb. I have had a belly-only pregnancy, meaning my belly, not my body, has grown. And I feel strong and ready for recovery.
9. God is in control…and unborn babies come in at a close second. I recognized early in my pregnancy that my body had been taken over by something the size of a mustard seed (which was also baby’s nickname for more than half of the pregnancy…until we named him). Listen, the hormonal shifts and signals you get from your womb on what your day is going to look like are real. I remember negotiating with my small unborn child early in the second trimester when we were starting to eat more than crackers and mashed potatoes – “hey little one, if you let me eat this chicken and veggies, I promise I’ll give you some cherries right after.” Call me crazy but it worked.
10. My success in most areas of my life is due to 80% good intentions, 10% fear, and 10% vanity. I am going to deliver my baby today and it’s been a long road, but I’d say I accomplished what I wanted to when I found out I was pregnant. By all accounts I have a healthy baby. Mama’s healthy and strong, despite the “high-risk” tag that the medical community has placed on me. My biggest motivation was wanting to do and be the best for my blessing. After all I try to be a good steward over EVERYTHING God has given me. But there was a small part that was aware of all of the risk factors and I didn’t want anything to harm this baby that we prayed for for so long. I call that a healthy dose of fear – it’s not overwhelming or consuming, but it strengthens your WHY. Then there’s that part I’m not supposed to talk about, right? I wanted to look good! I didn’t want my hips to spread, my arms and thighs to balloon, or my butt to become a pancake. And I think that’s a perfectly fine motivator.
For my mamas out there, what things did you learn or confirm about yourself during your pregnancy? I’d love it if you shared in the comments below.
